Congratulations COMELEC: But eating shellfish is also an abomination...

Appreciating the wisdom of the Commission on Elections regarding the accreditation of Ang Ladlad LGBT Political Party List

My dear Commission on Elections (COMELEC) of the Philippines,

I wish to congratulate you for doing such an act of pure love and piousness when you upheld God's Law in your decision regarding the petition of Ang Ladlad LGBT Political Party. Invoking Romans 1:26-27 was a brilliant idea! I feel so blessed that you guys are doing the job that the Constitution of the Philippines mandated you to do. And I feel so relieved that you guys are there to save my soul from being infected by the presence of a lesiban,gay, bisexual, and transgender political party in the 2010 elections.

I try to share the wisdom of your decision with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind him that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate.

I'm really convinced that you are very right. You know, just like you, I take the Bible seriously in a very literal way because the Bible is the word of God and God is definitely very clear in whatever He's saying. However, I do need some advice from you regarding some God's command in the Bible. I will deeply appreciate if you tell me how to best follow them:

a) When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odour for the Lord (Lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odour is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

b) I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exo. 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? How much did you sell your daughters for? I’m really, really curious.

c) I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev. 15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. Do you allow your female staff in COMELEC to work during their menstrual period?

d) Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this doesn’t apply to us, that only Chinese people can have us as slaves and not the other way around. Can you clarify? Why can't I have a Chinese for a slave?

e) I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exo. 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? Oh, am I allowed to kill President Arroyo when she works during the Sabbath? And, YES, am I allowed to kill you if I caught you working during the Sabbath?

f) A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? I know a lot of our political candidates eat selfish! O No! Please the 2010 Elections can't be infested by them!

g) Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. A lot of political candidates are wearing glasses, a lot of our former Presidents wore glasses. Are they immoral too?

h) Most of our male political candidates get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev.19:27. Can we tolerate such immorality among our political candidates?

i) I know a political candidate who has a farm. I think he violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16) Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev.20:14)

j) A lot of Filipinas work as domestic helpers in other countries. A lot of them are beaten by their employers. Should I condemn their employers or should we just allow them to be beaten up as long as they can get up after a day or two as what Exo. 21:20-21 wants us to do: “If a man beats his male or female slave with a rod and the slave dies as a direct result, he must be punished, but he is not to be punished if the slave gets up after a day or two, since the slave is his property.”

k) Erap Estrada seems intent to run again as President. I just wonder whether you’ll approve his candidacy, specially that he is a well-known adulterer. The Bible say the punishment is death, why is he still alive? Is there something fishy going on?

l) Deut. 23:20 said that we shall not demand interest from our countrymen on a loan of money. Are our banks immoral? How should they be punished?

I know you guys have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. I still have many questions but that’s all for now. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Faithfully yours,
Juan de la Cruz

8 comments:

line of flight said...

I think this is the more fundamental point than the gay/human rights issue. Governments are not competent to pass judgment on ecclesiastical matters. The consequences of permitting such government intervention are innumerable both for society and for religious organizations. If the CBCP is serious about the integrity of its truths, it would condemn what COMELEC has done on this basis. Government has no business making judgments on dogma!

Laya said...

Well said, Sass.

YourCUPID: The love guru in you. said...

the bible should be read with full understanding...with the guide of the Holy spirit so that we can never be mislead....try to pray wholeheartedly so that God may lead you to the right way...

Quentin X said...

Comelec has just called me immoral. Is this a case of the pot calling the kettle black?

Ming Meows said...

Comelec is the new Church

line of flight said...

lol @ Ming Meows!

Mac Callister said...

thats good!

pero wala pa din kami tiwala sa comelec,so corrupt hayyy

kiko said...

i love you dear. very nice!

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