November 13, 2008

I just wanna let this out. I really have a big big big problem.I think I'm starting to like someone whom I'm not supposed to have a crush on in the first place. WAAH! Haha! LOLZ!It just all started last week. I saw it coming. But I just didn't give it that much attention or importance. I thought it was just gonna fade away and everything will just go back to normal. I thought I was just thinking things. But, no. Just yesterday, I felt it. I FELT IT! Haha! Geesh. I think I need to see a psychiatrist.It all started when my boss assigned me to be his some sort of assistant in whatever it was that he was doing. It mainly concerned some documennts and stuff. Initially, I was like...geesh...why him? I've always felt uncomfortable with him. I never even got to talk to him or work with him until that time that my boss assigned me that task. And, of course, one of my responsibilities is to "carry out all the tasks assigned by my unit head." I love my boss and I don't wanna fail her so I just really didn't have any other choice. Besides, perhaps, I needed to be more professional in a way.I just really followed whatever he instructed me to do for the whole week last week and this week. There were some instances when I felt his coldness and stuff. But one funny thing about him is that whenever he would wanna talk to me, he wouldn't mention my name first. Like, one time, he was saying something but I didn't initially knew that he was actually talking to me. I mean, he already said a lot but I didn't even bother to look at him because, hello, I didn't even know in the first place that it was me who you were talking to. Ahihi! But you know, I always felt "kilig" whenever he would talk to me. It's with his voice, swear. It's DUNNO! Haha! It's weird! It's so big. It's like a fog-horn or something. But, nevertheless, it sounds! Haha! CHEESY!But what's really bothering me right now are the weird things that I've been doing whenever he's around. For one, I always try not to look at him. Like, whenever I would talk to him, I would look on the floor and not at him! Haha! Kids, don't do that. That's so inappropriate. Swear. Haha! LOLZ! And then last Tuesday, when I was gonna go home and I was about to open the door of our office already, I saw him standing in front of the elevator. So in my mind I was like...the last thing that I wanna happen was to get stuck with him in the elevator for even just a minute! Just the two of us! We're on the 32nd floor and there's a 95% chance that when the elevator door opens, there'd be no one inside. We'd be the very first passengers nonetheless. So what I did was (and swear, it was so silly), I went back to my workstation and pretended to check if I was able to turn off my computer. My officemate noticed me and asked me as to what I was doing. And I told her that I was just checking some things. MY GOSH! Huhu! I'm really so silly. Swear. Haha!And then, just yesterday, my boss asked him to offer me some popcorn. He was kinda holding a bag of popcorn that I think he just cooked in the microwave. I just smiled with my eyes closed and my head tilted on my right to send him an indication of "No, thanks." (^_^) WAAAH! CHEESY! Haha! But, hello, God knows how much I love popcorn. My family loves popcorn. We eat popcorn every night after dinner. And what I did yesterday was the complete opposite of our family emblem! Haha! Oh, my gosh...But I actually have a much bigger problem right now. My male boss, whom I also kinda had a crush before but it faded away already as in completely, invited me to attend a "boys' night out" tonight. It's like a some sort of farewell party for my two officemates who're gonna be leaving soon.Well, ok. A boy's night out. A BOY'S NIGHT OUT! For crying out loud, I'm gay! Haha! WAAH! I dunno how to tell him that I'm not comfortable with such kind of gathering. As in swear. And there's a very big chance that this new crush of mine is gonna be there, too.Wait, did I just say that he's my "new crush"? WAAH! OMG! This is really it! Huhu!LOLZ!Ok, I'm not gonna give away a clue as to who he is or whatsoever. I have my own reasons. I'm not gonna even describe him. And hello, for sure, I won't post his picture here anymore. Well, for a change. Haha! But, if you want, you can go watch "E.T." and you'll see him there. You'll also find his name there. As in swear.SHOCKS! Such a give-away clue! Haha! should get a hold of yourself. Swear. Please God, help me.... I don't wanna have a crush again on someone who has a girlfriend. I don't wanna create another T.S. saga. OMG...

(a much better layout of this post is at

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